...I feel...

I feel like nothing good at the moment...it looks as if i was the deamon causing more and more chaos  like i was the only one who pushed it or tried to push it further...but i know i'm not...i also needed time...less time than you...but time....i thought that the time was now and didn't wait long enough...how was i supposed to know that you can still change your mind? it is said that we learn on our own mistakes...i thought i did...they said that i have so much wizdom in me...but i see that there is far more before me...i knew that but i thought it won't hurt...not so fast....i feel like smoking a cigarette...feel like sleeping for a few months....feel like getting inside of me and staying there for a while...yet there is much to learn...but i'm afraid...and the tears running down my face...

i'll think about it tomorrow....it's a good thought but unfortunatelly i can't...